Thursday, September 16, 2010

Open Letter To Local Residents With Docks

Dearest Residents,

This is a letter to remind you to keep your dock lights lit on the evening of Friday, September 17th, 2010 in the Inter-Coastal-Waterway areas north, south, east and west of Belleair Causeway, Sand Key, St Joseph Sound, and Dunedin.

This Notice is, in good faith meant to notify you that there will be at least two (2) kayak anglers fishing around your docks on the aforementioned date. This is no cause for alarm.

I can assure you that I (A Bad Backcast) will do everything in my power to conduct my angling operations in a quiet and professional manner and if I happen to hang one of my lures on said dock or property (boat, jet ski, yacht, sailboat, naked woman statue) I promise to make every effort to remove said object quietly and without malice from the confines of my kayak. I can't really say the same for my colleague (Old Guy Keith).

Please understand that we are over the age of 40, and our eyes don't work very well at night. Leaving your dock lights lit will certainly help in this respect. I'm sure you, the residents, can sympathise with losing your nighttime depth perception, and we appreciate any help in regard to good lighting.

Please try to ignore the noise created by Old Guy Keith. He really is a nice guy and he does mean well, I just think that sometimes, he forgets that he's literally fishing in your backyard....and, he doesn't have a Malibu Kayak and has to fish his anchor out of a crate behind his seat, which gets tangled up with a bunch of other stuff that he doesn't need.

Thank you for your kind assistance.


A Bad Backcast