Gas & Tan Station Myth Laid To Rest

After years of hearing stories about and looking for the always elusive Gas & Tan convenience store, I have actually tracked one down....in Alabama no less. Where else can you get gas, pick up a lottery ticket and a six pack, and get 30 minutes in the tanning bed? Talk about one stop shopping...

In my local area, we have Dodge's Chicken Store, which is a gas station that has awesome food like pizza on a stick, JoJo's (which are some sort of fried potato) chicken and biscuits and fried gizzards (which are pretty damn good). When you pull up to get gas, the cashier cheerfully announces "Welcome to Dodge's Chicken Store...You're ready for a fill!"

One can only imagine what they might announce when you pull up to the Gas & Tan...do they have specials like "Buy $20 in gas and a car wash and receive a free 30 minutes in the tanning bed"?

I need to know......

Oddly Specific Signs

I promise to have some fishing related posts soon....but this is fun stuff that I do during the winter.

In the spirit of great sites like There I fixed It and the always popular People Of WalMart I bring you Oddly Specific a collection of baffling sings, similar to Rebecca's post about humorous warning signs

Sorry Rebecca, looks like they beat you to the glory of having a site dedicated to stupidity. I'd still like to see a monthly collection of your signs though. One of my favorite signs locally is the one put out by the state around bodies of fresh water - "Please don't feed or molest alligators"......

Mixed Metaphors and other stupid quotations

Here it is....the entire kettle of fish in a nutshell for ya...Oh...wait...I mean.....Errrrr.

Have you ever noticed that when purportedly intelligent folks either make serious grammatical errors in an e-mail with a "there, their, or they're"? I've noticed these same folks dole out the always popular mixed metaphors as of late. It's my humble opinion that people with degrees shouldn't be doing this.

*Quick refresher: A mixed metaphor is a combination of figures of speech that creates an incongruous or absurd image: "He's out of the frying pan and into hot water." "The sacred cows have come home to roost." "His victory is a springboard to rekindle his campaign." As these examples demonstrate, the colliding tropes are often idiomatic expressions or cliches.

A few shining examples:

"Don't burn your bridges till you come to them"

"Ya'all gotta take that like a grain of sand". Huh?

"We operate close to the bone by the skin of our teeth."

Do you have any examples?

I hope this doesn't add too much fuel to the oven and drop the Thanksgiving turkey and that you appreciate the inane humor life offers you at times.

Bad Parking Jobs

One thing that really annoys me is when inconsiderate people take up 2 parking spots so someone doesn't ding their car with a door. I understand someone wanting to keep a car ding free, but this is very selfish in my opinion. To me, it's almost as bad as the idiots who sit in the car in a no parking lane with the flashers on.

On more than one occasion, I've parked my sled right on the drivers door of the offending auto. Now, you have to understand that my car looks like something out of the road warrior, complete with "fu*@ You" and an erect penis spray painted on the hood, baseball bat dents in the passenger side, a dent in the hood where a tree fell on it during the hurricanes of 2004, a missing hubcap and peeled paint....the selfish parkers nightmare. I only wish I could see the expression on their faces when they come out of the store and see my ride pulled up right next to their baby.

I found a great blog dedicated to bad parking jobs called Your Parking Sucks

Cheers and I hope you get a laugh out of it....

Things in the Big, Green Bin

I'm sort of a stickler about just taking what you need when camping. Then you'll understand my confusion about why there was a chessboard with no pieces and a package of vacuum bags (vacuum is at home)in the big green camping bin with the camp stove, the camp cooking utensils, and miscellaneous items.